Dia itu

“hmmmm”, ia mendesah diikuti dengan sebuah senyuman, senyuman yang lama tak aku lihat. Ya, setidaknya itu juga yang aku harapkan selama ini, sebuah senyuman yang tulus, sebuah senyuman yang benar-benar bermakna senyuman, bukan sebuah senyuman yang mempunyai makna kebencian, keputus asaan, keprihatinan, dan makna-makna yang bukan makna sebenarnya. Yah, hal ini menjadi sebuah harapan bahwa senyuman yang ia sunggingkan merupakan senyuman yang juga mempunyai makna harapan, yang ku tahu sudah lama ia tak memiliki harapan dan akupun Sudah lama tak pernah menanyakanya karena setiap aku bertanya ia selalu menjawab, “Ah, persetan dengan harapan! Toh harapan yang ku miliki selama ini tak pernah memberi apa yag aku harapkan”.
Tapi hari ini saat ku lihat ia duduk di depan teras kosannya, ia tak tampak seperti biasanya, wajahnya kambali memancarkan aura yang tak pernah aku rasakan sejak ia tak memiliki harapan. “kayaknya ada yang beda nih hari ini”, kataku saat ku duduk di sampingnya.
Ia menoleh dan melemparkan senyumnya padaku. Ia masih diam. Ku coba menerka-nerka apa yang ia pikirkan.
Ia berdiri dan melangkah ke tembok pembatas. Ia duduk di atasnya. “kok gak jawab?” tanyaku saat ia tak memberikan jawaban. Ia tak memberi respon.
Hmmm, dia memang satu-satunya teman aku yang benar-benar tak jelas. Adakalanya aku bisa menerka apa yang ia pikirkan, tapi lebis sering bahkan 90% terkaanku salah total. Munkgin terkaanku yang sekarang pun juga sama.
“senang ya sekarang? Kayaknya dari tadi senyam-senyum terus.. apa sudah punya harapan lagi? Atau senang karena gak ketemu-ketemu harapannya? Atau jangan-jangan punya konsep lain tentang harapan?atau mungkin sudah hilang tuh kata harapan dalam otak mu?” ku cecar ia dengan pertanyaan-pertanyaan yang ku tak tahu apakah ia akan menjawabnya atau malah bertanya balik padaku, entahlah.
Ia tak menjawab, pula tak menanyakan apa-apa padaku. Ia malah melangkah mendekatiku dan duduk disampingku tanpa senyum seperti tadi. “kenapa sih orang ini?” pikirku. Aku semakin dibuat pusing dengan tingkahnya. Rasa beda yang aku rasakan semakin terasa. Sukar sekali untuk ku tebak tentang apa yang ia pikirkan. Jangankan menebak, bertanya saja ia tak menjawab.
Hingga akhirnya akupun merasa rugi memikirkan semua tentang dia sedari tadi, tentang harapan, bahkan pertanyaan-pertanyaan yang ku rangkai satu persatu dengan susah agar mendapat jawaban darinya dan mengobati rasa penasaranku, saat ia berdiri sambil memandangi arlojinya dan berkata, “sory man, dari tadi aku mikirin apa yang bakal aku ajarin hari ini ke murid-muridku. Hmm, sekarang sudah jam setengah lima, saatnya aku pergi ngajar. Ku tinggal dulu ya!”.
“Dasar, Semprul…..!”

Review Novel of Through the Looking Glass

Through the Looking Glass. Lewis Carroll. London., Penguin Books. 1994. 173 pg. Cream. 978-0-14062-087-0.

There is something interesting in Through the Looking Glass. It not only provides an adventurous story but also curiously fantasy although sometimes it is confusing, be-cause Through the Looking Glass tells about the strange story in different world. So, understanding and catching the means of the story needs a good concentration especially for the beginners who have just started reading the English novel.
Through the Looking Glass, which is the sequel of Alice’s Adventure in Wonder-Land, tells about the adventure of Alice who wants to be a queen of chessman. In order to make her will comes true, Alice has to pass eights squares. in passing the chess squares, Alice meets many strange things that she has never found in her life. First thing that she finds are chessman I old room which act like human. They are talking each other an walking arm in arm. Although Alice meets many strange things, she does not feel fear but she wonders more and more.
After she meets the chessman. She is curious to go to the garden but she has to get to the top of the hill first. In this time, she has a problem. She cannot get to the top of the hill because there are some paths that she cannot know which path that leads to the top of the hill. Alice starts to feel confused but finally sh decides to go to the looking glass again back into the old room.
Besides she has to feel confused when she is in different world that she has never get in before, the looking glass, she also has to feel upset when some of the strange things of the looking glass criticize and underestimate her. When she is in the flower-bed, Rose, an inhabitant of the flower-bed, says that Alice is not clever and Violent, also the inhabitant of flower-bed, says that no one is stupider than Alice. However, her curiosity is never over. She still wants to know more and more, moreover when she knows from Red Queen that she can be a queen too.
The confusion of Alice moves along when she starts to finish her adventure from the second square to the eighth square. For the first time, Alice tries to moves from the second square with Red Queen. Red Queen holds Alice’s hands and go so fast that it is all Alice can o is to keep up with her. At this time, Alice sees that the trees and the other things round her never change their place all as if the things moved along with her and everything just as it was. When Alice wants to run down the hill and jump over the the first of the six little brooks to move to the third square, the odd thing happens. Suddenly, Alice finds herself in railway. She sees many creatures there that are about same size as the people holding out the ticket. The guard asks her ticket but she does not show the ticket because she does not know where she can get. The other confusing thing in the third square is when the train sped on the fourth by jumping over the brook. This is not an ordinary train.
The most confusing thing, in my opinion, is in the fourth square. In the fourth square, which is wood, she cannot remember what her own name is until she meets a Fawn. The interesting one is the more she feels confused, the more she feels curious and she says that she would ever go back till she can reach what she wants, which is to be a queen.
The other things that Alice faces in the fourth square are Tweedledee and Tweedledum. Tweedledee and Tweedledum remind Alice that she is not real and she just a sort of thing of Red King’s dream but Alice refuses it. The opinion of Alice about Tweedledee and Tweedledum is that they are selfish because either Tweedledum or Tweedledee think that they are the right one.
As I said I the beginning that this is about a strange adventure of Alice in different world, so I should tell you that all the things that Alice meets, hears, and experiences are mostly contrast and different from with what Alice has experienced in her real life. especially in the fifth square, which is mostly water, Alice meets with White Queen. The contrast that Alice gets from her is that she screams before she prickers her finger. Besides that, she also can remember best the thing that happens the week after next. I think this is not only the word play of the author but also he wants to show that it is a looking glass word that all the things of it are contrastive and different from the things in the real world. However, Alice not only finds the contrastive things but also a goo lesson from White Queen. White Queen advises her to be focus in doing something because nobody co do two things at once.
The other contrastive thing that Alice finds in the fifth square is when she is in the shop of the Goat. When she asks the price of the egg she wants to bym the Goat says that the price is five-pence farthing for one and twopence for two eggs. In the shop she also finds a lesson as when she is with White Queen. Goat says that she will just be able to see what is in front of her or both sides but she cannot see all around her unless she has got eyes at the back of her head.
Humpty Dumpty is the next odd thing that Alice meets in her strange adventure. Having conversation with him, Alice feels most confused. Besides she does not know what she means, what he says mostly makes her indignant. He says that she has to leave off at seven of age. However, her curiosity does not leaves off although she has to, some-times, feel confused and indignant. The two last strange events that Alice finds before she becomes a queen is the lion and the unicorn who seize a looking glass cake and the knight who always considers the thing that she has are his own invention.
Finally, Alice can reach what she wants, which is to be a queen, but it does not mean that Alice will not meet or have the strange things anymore. She has to be a family head of her own party that she has never planned and answer the questions that White Queen and Red Queen give. In fact, Alice is fade up with all things happen to her that come from her curiosity. Finally, she cannot stand it any longer. When she is in the party, she breaks the party by pulling and seizing all the things in front of her.Then, she catch the Red Queen whom she considers as the cause of all. She holds it up and in the end, she finds that what she holds up is her kitty. She realizes that it is her fantasy.
However, Alice’s curiosity is over when she goes back to her original or real world because actually the different world has different things that make her confused or even indignant.

Dim Black

I was looking at Green when he saw the sun rising for a thousand times. Green is my cousin, the only chum and brother of mine. We had been together in rainy and sunny, sadness and happiness since we were children. We shared each other what we felt. He is stronger and wiser than me. He thought that we had to pass everything happened to us patiently.
“Come on, Red!” said he “It is no longer cloudy, smile please!”
Actually, I was fed up with all things Green and I had. Every time I opened my eyes, what I saw was only Green. I used to ask me myself “Will we have another to be our friend or will we be only two forever in this large dry silent meadow?” but I could never find the answer.
“What are you thinking about, Red?” asked Green. I did not reply but smiled at him.
“hmm… something that you have to understand is that two are better than one and one is better than none” he said.
Green, whom I considered as my brother as well as my teacher, tried to tell me something that sometimes I could hardly understand. He told me many things, many impossible things until I felt sleepy.
“Is there anyone there? Anyone can hear me?”
“I am listening, Green” I said while I tried to open widely my eyes but green did not give any response, he just stared at some thing what I did not know.
“What are you looking at, Green?” I asked.
“I am looking at where the voice has been from” he answered.
I would hardly understand what he said if I did not see a man standing on a stone near us. It was the first time for us to see a man since we were two years.
“Is there anyone wants to hear me?” he said again almost cried. He took his shirt off and run to us. He jolted Green and me. “Do you mind listening to me, Tree?” he asked Green.
“No, I don’t mind. I will listen to what you will tell me” said Green surprising me.
“My God! You can speak, Tree?” he was more surprised than me. When he heard green speaking, he jumped back till he fell down.
“Yes! And tree, beside me, can too” he added.
It was one of impossible things I could not hardly believe but Green; he always believed all things even unreasonable thing.
“I am Green and this is Red. What is your name man?” introduced Green.
“I am Black, Dim Black” answered the man doubtfully.
Black sat and moved nearby me. He tried hard to ensure himself that what happened was a real. “You are not dreaming, Black,” Green said suddenly, as if he knew what Black was thinking “It is a great gift of you being able to speak with us as well as ours”.
I was just listening because I had no more idea about it. However, since that time I could believe what Green had said to me.
“Well, what is the point of your coming here and shouting such a question over there?” I asked Black.
“I want someone to listen to my story. And now I am just looking for someone who wants to listen to it,” he replied “would you listen to it, Trees? If you would, it will be great because this is the first time for me finding listener of my story”.
“What sort of story will you tell?” asked Green.
I was wondering what kind of the story he would tell till he went to this place just to find a listener.
“Are you sure you will listen to my story?” he asked happily. But before we answered his question, he started telling his story.
“There is a rich man in one village. He can get many things he wants because of his wealth but one thing,” he took a breath for a second “well, don’t you feel bored with your condition, Trees” he asked before continuing his story.
“Why should we be bored?” inquired Green.
“You are used to staying with Red only and so Red too” was the reply.
“I never,” Green answered “Just continue telling your story, Black!” added Green.
I knew Green did not want me to answer Black’s question because he probably knew what I would answer.
“Although the man is rich but he never feels happy,” continued Black “he is sick, he gets a cancer in his head. What makes him unhappy is not because he cannot buy the cure. He has already bought the cures but the cures cause him to be more suffered. He becomes more sick and sick but no one surrounding him knows and wants to know it. No one cares, but anyone wants his wealth. He needs that one and he is really sure that he just needs that one. He promises that if he finds that one he will be very grateful.”
Black stopped telling. He took a breath once more. I wanted to ask him something but he was first “do you know Trees what I mean that one?”
“Of course not, you have the story” I answered and Green just kept silent.
“Well, I’ll tell you next” he said “now, I gotta go”. He stood up, stepped forward, and turned around “By the way, what dream do you dream most, Trees?” he asked
“I wish I could have another to be my friend” I answered.
Green did not tell his wish, he smiled at me and said that he just would wait for Black to finish the story.
“Well, see you next, Trees! Nice to see you” he went away and disappeared under the Sun ray.
After the conversation with Black, Green and I tried to guess what that one Black meant. Green said that the means of that one was a girl and I guessed the means of that one was happiness itself. However, we decided to wait for his next story.
Time by time we had been waiting for him but he never came. One day in the morning, when we had woken up, we found some people planted some trees around us. I did not understand where they were from. “Hi, everybody!” greeted me “it is glad to see you” I added happily but only the trees answered my greeting, none of people. To my surprise, all the trees were young apples. Finally, I could find others, not another, to be my friends. I was very happy but Green gave no response. He just acted as usual as if there was not something special.
I thought it would be happier if Black was here. He never came and finished his story since his previous appearance. I wondered where he was. I asked Green but he had no idea about him. I tried to ask my new young friends but no one ever knew him.
All the questions had been answered in the other morning when I saw an old man approaching Green and me. “Thank you Green, thank you Red. You are ‘that one’,” he said “from Dig Black” he added. Then, the old man turned back and left us.